A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime Wednesday: The Repairs Will Cost You, But The Passed Out Naked Woman Is Free

Palm Beach County, Florida

During the 2013 July 4th weekend, a man decided to leave his Acura overnight at the dealership to be serviced. On Monday, July 8, he got an update on status of his car, but it wasn't a call from the repairs department. Instead, he was greeted at his front door by the Palm Beach County police.

The officers informed him that his car had been spotted 12 miles away from the dealership with the engine running...and a naked woman passed out behind the wheel.

The police had initially tried to get her attention from outside the vehicle, but found that she was unresponsive. They were, however, able to get inside the car through the rear passenger door, where they successfully woke her up.

The naked 36-year-old driver, whose name was Melonie Mahfouz, explained to them that her current condition was due to having a "fever and high blood pressure." The officers immediately took her to nearby JFK Medical Center for treatment.

What Melonie didn't tell the them, however, was that she has a bit of a checkered past when it comes to her dealings with law enforcement. Some of her recent shenanigans include:

August 2011: Petty theft (and failure to appear for the subsequent court appearance)

April 2012: Drug Possession

October 2012: Grand Theft and Fraud

While waiting in the lobby and reading out of date magazines, the police also decided it would be a good time to run the tags on the Acura that Melonie had been found in. Turns out that the vehicle had been reported as being stolen by the dealership that morning.

But when the officers went to question Melonie about the car's ownership, they discovered that she had already fled the hospital on foot.

After nabbing her a few feet down the road, Melonie tried to explain that the set of car keys she had were given to her by the owner. The car's owner, on the other hand, claimed that this was completely untrue.

But when the police asked how she had a set of keys with her, the man sheepishly admitted that Melonie had visited his home before...and that she MIGHT have taken a set of keys during one of her stays.

Now before any of us go judging the poor guy, here's a picture of Melonie from her MySpace page (complete with an old school MySpace camera angle).

You gotta admit, Melonie's quite a looker when she's dolled herself up...and she's definitely more appealing than our last weird crime crazy ex-girlfriend.

But I digress..the man also explained to the officers that the entire reason for his car being taken to the dealership was so that he could have the locks changed. Apparently, his car had a habit of getting stolen by people (i.e. crazy women) who had access to his spare set of keys.

Melonie Mahfouz was arrested and charged with grand theft auto. She was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail, where she remains on $6,000 bond.

At least she smiled for this one.

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

To get updates on when new articles or podcasts are published (and occasional random musings) 'Like' the official RamblingBeachCat.com Facebook page. Every time someone does, another man realizes that he shouldn't let crazy women have access to his car keys (and that you should never take your car to a dealership for service and repairs). 

Disqus Comments