A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: Scissors Beats Paper, Taser Beats Scissors...Most of the Time

Fort Myers, Florida

Judging from his Twitter and Instragram accounts, 19-year-old Damian Pierce is a (sadly) typical teenager. Both of his social media accounts are filled with embarrasing selfies, poor attempts at being clever, and occasionally amusing observations.

Damian also seems to be a major proponent of two things that people tend to feel very strongly about: God and marijuana.

His allegiance to the herb is evidenced by multiple postings in support of marijuana legalization along with bragging openly about his own toking sessions. Damian's love of God, on the other hand, is proudly displayed as a tattoo on his chest stating 'Phillipians 4:13.' The Bible verse Damian felt strongly about enough to have permanently inked on his body reads 'I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.'

People who quote Leviticus (especially the verse 
about not getting tattoos) are such party poopers.

In most cases, there probably isn't a lot that Christians and marijuana supporters would typically agree upon. But after January 26, 2014, both groups can come together and agree that they don't want this person trying to represent either one of them.

Around 2:00 AM that morning, police were called by someone claiming that his home was being broken into. The victim locked himself in his bedroom and waited for the officers to arrive. When they got there, yelling and screaming could be heard from one of the other bedrooms in the house. 

After forcing open the door, they discovered Damian facing the wall with a pair of scissors in his right hand. Upon hearing the officers enter the room, Damian turned around and charged towards them while stating "I win. I am stronger than you."

                         Game of Thrones Wiki
You must look like this for that 
statement to not sound ridiculous

One of the officers immediately deployed a Taser on Damian, which brought him to the ground. The officers then tried to handcuff Mr. Running With Scissors only to discover that he still had a little fight left in him. 

After thrashing around a bit, the officers tried to Taser him again, this time without any effect...except for Damian biting the officer's finger.

After finally getting Damian subdued, the officers looked around the bedroom, which had already been completely trashed prior to the altercation. But aside from the multiple holes that Damian had punched into the wall, they didn't find any evidence of drugs being involved...until they looked outside and discovered Damian's backpack, which contained marijuana (not unexpected) and crystal meth (yikes).

After being taken to a nearby hospital for treatment and observation, Damian Pierce was arrested and charged with occupied burglary, burglary with battery, felony vandalism, aggravated assault, resisting arrest without violence (?) and battery on a law enforcement officer.

And as embarrassed as Damian may be about this mugshot, it's still nearly not as bad as this picture that he willingly published for on his Twitter account for everyone to see:

...although it might help him make a few friends while in prison.

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter. 

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