Thursday, January 2, 2014

Weird Crime: Banana Battle






Tampa, Florida

It's been a while since we talked about a possible Banana Uprising here on Rambling Beach Cat. But thanks to the great state of Florida, the first day of 2014 has provided us with its possible reemergence.

Pasco County Police were called to the home of 36-year-old Phillip Joseph Smolinsky in the early morning hours of January 1 for a domestic violence charge. When they arrived, Smolinsky's live in girlfriend claimed that he had thrown a banana at her.

Smolinsky not only denied the charge, but claimed instead that it was actually his girlfriend who had hurled the banana at him. Unfortunately for Smolinsky, a couple of factors were working against his "NU-UH! SHE DID IT" defense.

1. His girlfriend had a giant red mark under her eye where the banana had hit her.
2. A smashed up banana was was found by police in the trash can along with pieces of the banana peel on the kitchen floor.

With the evidence stacked against him, Smolinsky decided to continue operating his life the same way that someone using Donkey Kong in Mario Kart would, this time via brute force. When the officers tried to arrested him, Smolinsky repeatedly fought back...and like anyone racing with Donkey Kong, he eventually lost.

After being pepper sprayed and restrained, Phillip Joseph Smolinsky was arrested and charged with domestic battery and attempting to resist arrest. He was held without bond. His first court appearance was scheduled for this afternoon.


Reports that he was brought into the 
courthouse by Lakitu are unconfirmed at this time.


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