A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: Stop...Cuddle Time

Manatee County, Florida

In the early hours of December 28, 2013, 31-year-old Shavonna Rumph and 33-year-old Henry Price had spent a romantic evening getting intoxicated together. But as Friday night turned into Saturday morning and the couple headed off to bed, Shavonna allegedly began to complain about Henry's aversion to cuddling.

Whether this was just a general admonishment on Shavonna's part or the result of Henry's failure to snuggle right then and there is unclear. But whatever caused the disagreement, Henry decided that it was time to leave the premises. Shavonna grabbed (and tore) Henry's shirt to keep him from leaving, but he was determined to escape from the bedroom to a cuddle-free zone.

Unfortunately for him, that's also when Shavonna decided to offer Henry's organs the chance to cuddle up next to some stainless steel. According to the sheriff's report, Shavonna picked up a kitchen knife and brandished it in Henry's direction.

                               Mother Goose Juice
"Do ya feel lucky, you non-cuddling punk?"

It's not clear from the official report if the altercation moved into the kitchen or Shavonna just kept a kitchen knife the bedroom for occasions like this. But either way, Henry probably regretted not just sucking it up and going with the Ross Geller 'Hug 'n Roll' maneuver after Shavonna fell asleep.

Now to be fair, Shavonna claims that she never picked up a knife. But she did admit to being angry about his refusal to cuddle, ripping his shirt, and even attempting to block the doorway by moving a table in front of it...so yeah, I'm gonna go with Henry's account on this one over the crazy lady's version.

Shavonna Rumph was arrested and charged with misdemeanor domestic battery. She was released from jail on Sunday after posting $250 bond.

...and with that smile on her face, one can hope that maybe 
she got placed with a cell mate who was willing to spoon.

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