A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime Wednesday: Mad Crapper Done In By His Own Creation

(photo @ Appellate Sky)

Indiantown, Florida

Morning shift employees at the Seminole Country Inn had a serious problem that needed to be dealt with (besides the music on their website's flash intro). Someone was leaving a daily deposit of turd in the parking lot.

An extra police patrol was dispatched to try and catch the dastardly defecator in the act...and on September 30 of 2013, they finally caught a break. At approximately 6:20 AM, a deputy rolled into the the parking lot and observed 28-year-old Elee Medina "fidgeting with his trousers" while walking away from a giant pile of crap and soiled wet wipes.

When the officer first questioned Medina about the rogue stool sample, however, he claimed not to have even noticed it until it has been pointed out to him. But to anyone with a modicum of detective skills. something just didn't smell right (terrible pun intended).

After getting a good look at the poop on the ground, the officer turned his attention to the white shirt Medina was wearing. On it was a reddish brown stain that the official police report claims "was consistent with the color of the defecation on the ground."

Realizing that he was caught brown and red-handed, Medina proceeded to try and explain why he took his daily morning constitution in a hotel parking lot. According to him, his commute from the town of Greenacres to Florida Light & Power Company in Indiantown was so long that he had no choice but to drop a deuce in that very location before heading into work.

This seems like an unlikely explanation. But being the thorough and curious person that I am, I decided to map out Medina's route and see if there was any more appropriate location for him to do his business before clocking in for the day..

The fastest and most direct route from Greenacres to Indianatown takes about 53 minutes with traffic. It's got plenty of places he could stop, but it also involves toll roads.We'll give Medina the benefit of the doubt here; just about anyone would be willing to poop in a parking lot if it meant skipping a toll.

The alternate toll free route, however, only takes a few more minutes.

It also passes by multiple strip malls and gas stations, meaning that Medina's compulsion to drop anchor in the Seminole Inn Parking lot was born out of something much more malicious and/or disturbing than simple necessity.

Elee Medina was charged with one count of criminal mischief. He was also arrested on an additional drug charge when the officer found marijuana in his boot.

Why the officer (or anyone) would dare to bend over near 
Medina's rear end look to look for something is beyond me.

H/T to Will Greenlee of the TCPalm for obtaining and scanning the actual police reports.
Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter. 

To get updates on when new articles or podcasts are published (and occasional random musings) 'Like' the official RamblingBeachCat.com Facebook page. Every time someone does, a person who had a bad experience with a hotel still has the decency to poop in a toilet instead of on their parking lot.

Disqus Comments