Saturday, September 21, 2013

Weird Crime: Superior Spider-Man's Not So Amazing Attempted Robbery



Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Most of you out there know who Spider-Man is. A large number of you would even call yourselves a fan of the character. But for the many of you who don't that keep up with Spider-Man's monthly adventures from Marvel, it may come as a surprise to know that Peter Parker is dead.

Yes, he will be back at some point, but current Amazing Spider-Man writer Dan Slott (who is one of my favorites) has done the unthinkable: He had Spidey's long time time nemesis, Doctor Octopus, finally defeat him by having the two switch bodies while allowing Doc Ock's deteriorating physical form to expire (with Peter Parker's mind and spirit still inside).

To drive the point home even further, he provided a classic "comic book death" out to return to the status quo (a remnant of Peter Parker continued to function in the back of Dock Ock's mind) only to completely obliterate it 9 issues later.

Things might seem pretty bleak right now, but to Slott's credit, he has woven a masterful tale of a what a former homicidal/genius super villain would do if he was able to completely inhabit and take over the life of his arch nemesis. Unfortunately, life in the Pittsburgh area seems to be imitating Slott's art...and it's not turning out very well.

In the early morning hours of Friday, September 20 of 2013, 21-year-old Johnathan Hewson walked into a convenience store decked out in a full Spider-Man costume. He then shouted at the clerk "How much money you got?"

The clerk, who was clearly aware that this Spider-Man was no longer the same man who valued pairing great power with great responsibility, pulled out a stun gun. That's when Spidey decided to high tail it on foot out of the store. This created one of the greatest photo opportunities imaginable, which someone was able to snap and post online (courtesy of CBS Pittsburgh.


"Out of web fluid again!"


Because super villains never seem to know when to leave a crime scene, Hewson/Spider-Man was arrested less than a block away about an hour later. One of Henson's henchmen/roommates attempted to stick up for him, explaining that Johnathan was just a Spider-Man enthusiast who was having a little fun.

Aside from nearly every new article on this leaving out the hyphen in Spider-Man's name, the most frustrating part about all this is that anyone (including Henson and his roommate) could think walking into a store late at night while wearing a mask and shouting questions about where the money is kept could ever be considered harmless.

Embedded below is a local news report on the incident. You get to see an unmasked and very dejected looking wall crawler being interrogated by a reporter while also being heckled by a nearby citizen.





As hard as it is to see someone dressed as my childhood (and adult) hero put into the back of a squad car, I can't really find any sympathy for the kid in this situation.

His friend/minion can say all he wants that the guy is harmless, but the circumstances of the crime (along with the surveillance video which has yet to be released) allegedly tell a very different story.

Fortunately, the Pittsburgh police department was not about to fall for such a transparent attempt at obtaining freedom for the Master Planner. Henson was charged with robbery and sent to the Allegheny County Jail, where he is being held on $50,000 bail.


There has been no word yet on when/if he will be transferred to The Raft.


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