A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: You Can Do It, But We Won't Help

On Wednesday, August 28 of 2013, North Charleston police got a call at approximately 8:30 AM from a Home Depot location. When officers arrived on the scene, they were directed to a storage shed in which multiple customers had witnessed a man and woman enter and close the door behind them.

Now of course there was always the chance that these two were just checking out the shed's dimensions to see if it would be able to store their homemade flower pots and Christmas decorations, but that's not the type of thing you leave to chance.

When the door to the shed was opened, 20-year-old Emily Craig and 31-year-old Shaun Bowden were found in various states of undress. From behind their pay wall, the Post Courier reports that after briefly being questioned by the police (and taking notice of Shaun's exposed genitals), it was determined that the couple had indeed been having sex.

This was already embarrassing enough for the couple. But to make matters worse, Emily provided a false name and birthday to the police that did not match the ID she had in purse at the time. Since this wasn't Emily's first run in with the law, she probably should have known better.

There are a couple of things about this incident that really don't make sense to me:

-A storage shed? Seriously? Aside from the great (but obvious) 'Love Shack' references you would be able to make, that had to be insanely uncomfortable for both parties involved. I guess they might have been going for some sort of dare or something, but that hardly seems worth it. Besides, everyone knows that the true pinnacle of all Home Improvement store hijinks is to actually use one of the store display bathrooms (which is also pretty stupid and not worth trying).

-8:30 in the morning...at a home improvement store. That's why I brought up the dare factor. Who in the heck gets up that early to go shopping for door frames and ends up being unable to control their primal urges?

 Though to be fair, their door frame 
kits are incredibly affordable and easy to work with

-I really want to know what the mark down is on that shed is now. No way they can sell it at full price unless it's put on Ebay or Craigslist. That might actually end up giving Home Depot a pretty huge profit margin.

Shaun Bowden was arrested and charged with indecent exposure and disorderly conduct. Emily Craig was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and providing false information to the police. You'll notice that while Shaun's mugshot seems to convey some level of shame, Emily seems pretty darn proud of herself.

As of today, the two lovebirds were still being held pending a bond hearing.


They should probably have their bathroom breaks spaced out from each other.

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

To get updates on when new articles or podcasts are published (and occasional random musings) 'Like' the official RamblingBeachCat.com Facebook page. Every time someone does, a couple decides to stop by Lowe's and get back home first before getting in on.

Disqus Comments