A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime Wednesday: Lend me your ear...I'll get the coffee

(photo @ legaljuice)

Port St. Lucie, Florida

On Sunday, August 11 of 2013, 29-year-old William Bradford was asked by his friend, 36-year-old [name removed at subject's request], to come over to her house. The reason for her invitation was that she felt protection was needed against her roommate, 26-year-old Kenneth Thompson.

It seemed that in addition to having a habit of returning to their house drunk and breaking things, Kenneth also believed with all his heart that this woman was the love of his life. The fact that she did not return his affection had become a bit of a sore spot during their time cohabitating in the same living space.

To emphasize her stance on their relationship to one another (and for her own protection), she had decided to take out a restraining order on Kenneth the next day. But in the meantime, she still had one evening left living in the same quarters as him and didn't want any trouble.

Now while I do completely sympathize with this woman in this situation, I do have a couple of questions before we go any further into what happened next:

1. Why not go stay at a motel for the evening? (Or if you don't have the money, stay at the home of a friend or relative)?

2. If a man is psychotically obsessed/possessive of you, how do you think he is going to react when he comes home to find another male with you in the house?


As you might have guessed, things quickly got out of hand after Kenneth walked in the door. Living up to his alleged control-freak persona, Kenneth grabbed his roommates' phone and began examining the contents...where he came across information (either texts or emails) that revealed her plans to get a restraining order against him.

Like a true violent psychopath, Kenneth reacted to hearing undesirable news by first becoming self destructive (claiming that he was going to shoot himself in the face) and then lashing out at someone else (who ended up being William) in the form of repeated punches to his target's face.

At this point, the woman and William wisely made the decision to leave the premises. But as they were heading out to the car, Kenneth attacked William and wrestled him to the ground. After the two men had tussled for a while, Kenneth decided it was time to show the fleeing pair just what a desperate/crazy person they were dealing with...by biting down on William's ear, twisting it in his teeth, and pulling off a chunk of flesh.


Like most fights that are not happening on television or in a movie, massive amounts of blood and the sight of a dismembered body part caused everything to immediately stop.

Realizing what a complete tool he was being, Kenneth changed course and decided to try and help preserve William's earlobe. Unfortunately, Kenneth's lack of ability to have a rational thought process was not just contingent upon malice and rage. He ran back inside, got a cup of coffee filled with creamer, and spit the piece of William's ear inside of it

He would later claim to police that he took this course of action because he had heard that "if you lose a tooth, you should keep it in creamer." 

At the hospital, Kenneth continued his streak of crazy by claiming that his traumatized roommate was his girlfriend and that William was his best friend. As you might imagine, his roommate and William did not corroborate his sentiments about them to the police. He also brushed off William's injury since it was "just a small piece" of his ear that had been torn off.

As bad as all of this sounds, it actually could have been much worse. When police went back to the house, they recovered a shotgun, crossbow, and machete from Kenneth's room. It's very fortunate for everyone involved that he decided to take out his unjustified frustrations with only his fists and chompers.

Kenneth Howard Thompson was arrested and charged with aggravated battery. He was booked into the St. Lucie County Jail.

...where you can't try to solve all your problems by biting off people's ears.

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