Saturday, June 22, 2013

Weird Crime: Blood Is Thicker Than Water (Or Kool-Aid)

Cocoa, Florida

On June 19, 2013, 22-year-old Brandon Crosley decided to beat the heat by making himself a refreshing batch of Kool-Aid. But as Brandon was preparing the drink, his 48-year-old father, Greg Crosley, told Brandon that he was not doing it correctly.

Now at this point, there are a couple of things we need to consider before the situation escalates.

1. It's not very hard to make Kool-Aid. I mess up microwavable macaroni and cheese with alarming frequency, but I can still whip up a pitcher of the sugary summertime drink without much difficulty. This means that either Brandon is a complete moron, or his father is a pretentious turd...which brings me to my next point...

2. Even if Brandon is a moron or his father is a pretentious turd (or they both fit those respective labels), there's no reason for any argument over how to correctly stir a powdered drink mix to result in physical violence, especially between family.

Not pictured: The massive brawl between these three that the
Kool-Aid man broke up while also helping them to talk things through.

But since this is the state of Florida (and you're reading about the incident here), you know where this is headed. The father-and-son verbal altercation soon took a turn for the worse, which resulted in Brandon punching his dad in the head repeatedly.

Realizing what a complete douche he had just been (especially considering the fact that his dad was disabled), Brandon decided that his next best course of action was to flee to a neighboring apartment...because clearly his disabled father was an imminent threat to run away from and not in need of any assistance.

Unfortunately for Brandon, his dad had no qualms about calling the police on a son that had just tried to beat his face in. When Brandon was found, he was arrested and charged with felony domestic violence. He is currently being held in the Brevard County jail on $1,000 bail while awaiting a July 18 arraignment.

...where he'll probably end up staying for a while. Not 
even the Kool-Aid man would bust out the wall for this jerk.

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