A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: When a Street Mime Starts Screaming, All Bets Are Off

Athens, Georgia

At approximately 11:00 AM on March 20, 2013, a 20-year-old University of Georgia student was walking to class when something completely unexpected (and unwanted) occurred. Out of nowhere (which is a hard place to define on a college campus), a woman appeared dressed in all black and and with her face painted completely white.

This would normally be the time when just about anyone else would expect an impromptu performance of "trapped inside an invisible box" to commence. Unfortunately for this college student, however, the mime she had encountered was not of the friendly variety.

The oddly dressed woman started things off by breaking the first rule of miming and screaming at the bewildered coed. She also ratcheted up the crazy quite a bit by accusing the girl of having watched her on television.

The girl tried to explain that she didn't even own a television, but that just seemed to anger the already unstable mime even more.

"I may be a mime, but I still know what Netflix is, you turd!"

The angry street performer then proceeded to punch to girl several times, grabbed her by the ponytail, and threw her to the ground.

At about the point that this poor girl probably thought she was involved in the most bizarre Juggalo-related incident in history, 39-year-old Dwight Eberhart was passing by in his truck and observed the assault taking place. He stopped his car in the middle of the road, got out, and chased the mime down the street where he eventually tackled her to the ground.

Police arrived on the scene and arrested the not-so-silent clown, who turned out to be 37-year-old Stephanie C. Walker. Walker was charged with battery and taken to the Clarke County Jail.

...where she most likely did not exercise her right (and theatrical duty) to remain silent.

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