A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: A Vow Stronger Than A Bullet

Bradford, Pennsylvania

On March 2 of 2013, 31-year-old police lieutenant Alfredo Malespini III decided (after a night of heavy drinking) that he did not want to wear his wedding ring.

Whether this decision was made due to problems in his marriage or a simple desire to be free from an ill-fitting piece of jewelry is unknown. What is generally well known and accepted, however, is that drinking large amounts of alcohol rarely leads to making a good decision.

With very few notable exceptions.

Fortified with resolve and his fermented beverage of choice, Alfredo determined that the best way remove the wedding ring from his finger was to walk outside and shoot it off  of his finger with a gun. As you might imagine, this method of removal did not go very well.

Reports available at this time do not indicate whether it was Alfredo or a terrified/confused neighbor who called 911, but police were dispatched to the residence with a report of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. When the officers arrived, they found Alfredo badly injured and wallowing in a sea of fail of embarrassment (along with is own blood).

You see, not only had Alfredo caused himself to sustain a very serious and painful injury, but the wedding ring which he was trying to forcibly remove was still attached to his bloody and mangled finger.

Alfredo Malespini III was arrested and charged with recklessly endangering another person, disorderly conduct, and firing a weapon inside city limits. He was taken to a nearby hospital for medical and mental health treatment.

So far there has been no word on whether or not he decided to keep wearing the ring.

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

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