A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime Wednesday: An Alien Named Molly

Collier County, Florida

In the early morning hours of February 8, 2013, 34-year-old Corey Joe Stump wandered into a Circle K convenience store without a shirt while also sweating profusely.
This isn't exactly out of the ordinary for Circle K clientele at 5:00 AM, but things were kicked up a notch when the other customers noticed that Corey was carrying two knives and blocking the exit.

But the people inside the store soon realized that the hostage situation they found themselves in would be much more bizarre than it it was dangerous. For starters, Corey's only demand was made when he politely asked one of the customers not to eat him

 "Sounds pretty reasonable..."

When police arrived on the scene and demanded that he put down the knives, Corey did so without hesitation. Getting him to leave the store, however, was a bit more difficult. 

As the officers attempted to take Corey away from the premises, he began to pull away and flinch, but not due to a fear of going to jail; Corey believed he was being attacked by imaginary aliens

Police were later informed by a friend of Corey's that he had taken a very potent form of the drug ecstasy known as "Molly."

"But it was all Corey, officer. I never got 
anywhere near the drugs. Scout's honor."

Aside from being mistaken by casual music listeners as the name of a girl in a song, mollies can cause the person taking them to experience hallucinations. The friend of Corey's who told police about his ingestion of the drug said they also believed he had combined it with alcohol, which has the potential to greatly intensify its effects.
Corey Joe Stump was taken by police to the hospital for treatment. After being released, he was arrested and charged with disorderly intoxication and improper exhibition of a dangerous weapon. 

This was also the seventh time that Corey has been booked into the Collier County Jail.

Records for his bookings onto the mothership, however, were unobtainable.

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