A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: A Good First Date Should Still End Without a Kiss (or Armed Robbery)

(photo @ wikipedia)

Lake Worth, Florida

On the evening of  January 23, 2013, 23-year-old Jean Remy took a girl he had met online out on a date. When the date was over (a little past midnight on the 24th), Jean dropped her off at her home and most likely began running through the usual post-first date check list:

1. Release the massive fart that you've been holding in for the last few hours.
2. Over analyze every phrase and possible use of body language.
3. Begin unfairly comparing your date to past relationships.
(4. If the date was bad, aimlessly scroll through your phone while swallowing the bitter pill of disappointment).

But for Jean, the night was not yet finished. After his date went inside, he walked over to her neighbor's house, observed a 12-year-old boy in his bedroom watching a movie, and decided that he wanted to take the kid's XBox.

Jean was able to get into the house and walked into the child's room. He then pressed a gun to the boy's head and barked at him to "look forward."

Jean then proceeded to grab the XBox while also demanding that the boy tell him where all his games were. Surprisingly, the young man stated that he didn't have any...which was good enough for Jean, who ran back to his car and drove away.

 ...and planned to spend the next afternoon finally using all his store credit.

Now I'm not one to admonish a 12-year-old for what they say with a gun to their head; maybe the kid just blurted out that he didn't have any games because he was scared. But it's more likely that if he's not grossly under utilizing his gaming console, he just really didn't want to give up all of his games to the thief, as well.

There's also a good chance the boy realized that since he was dealing with a criminal in the state of Florida, his attacker would believe whatever he said and leave immediately. But if he was trying to protect his game library, it was a surprisingly foolish (if still somewhat ballsy) move.

Kid, if you somehow happen to be reading this and ever get into a situation like that again, just give up the merchandise. Video games and other material items are replaceable; you are not. Even if you're one of those XBox Live players that screams profanities and talks trash after the match is over, we'd still much rather have you on this planet than that piece of human garbage who robbed you.

But I digress...the young boy immediately ran to the room where his mother (who was already getting up to investigate the noises she heard down the hall) was with his younger brother. When her son (who was understandably terrified and in tears) told her what happened and described his attacker (guess he didn't look forward the whole time), the mom went over to her neighbor's house to ask if she had seen anything.

 "Hey, just checking to see if you had 
observed any low life sociopaths in the area."

As the young woman listened to the description of her neighbor's intruder, she realized that her date hadn't called it at night after their evening out had come to an end...and was also a terrible person.

Unfortunately for Jean, real life doesn't work like Grand Theft Auto. His former date was more than happy to assist her neighbors and the police in making sure he was correctly identified and brought to justice.

Jean Remy was arrested and booked into the Palm Beach County jail, where he is currently being held without bail.

...or a copy of Halo 4
Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

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