A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: Bucking the role of hunter and prey

Whitehouse, Texas

On Friday, November 16 of 2012, Cole Kellis and Joseph Rose stepped out onto their front yard to see something that is usually pretty cool: A deer was standing just a few feet away from them.

Unfortunately, Joseph decided to utilize his non-existent power of animal whispering and determined that the deer was friendly. As he stepped forward, however, the deer completely proved him wrong by charging at the two men, which sent them both fleeing towards Joseph's truck.

The majestic woodland creature, however, was not finish establishing its dominance over the recently encountered humans. As Joseph tried to close his door, the angry buck began poking him in the ribs with its horns. Joseph bravely fought the animal off, jumped out of the car, and dove into the truck bed...

...which gave Mr. Angry Antlers the opportunity to get what he really came for: Joseph's cigarettes.

"That's right! You're in Flavor Country now, Nancy Boy!"

The buck lifted himself up through the (still open) driver's side door (totally ignoring Cole, by the way), reached up, and grabbed Joseph's cigarettes off the truck's center console.

Joseph then made yet another mistake in animal mind reading when he attempted to get the cigarettes back from the deer...which made the animal even more angry.

Joseph and Cole called animal control, who then called the police. It ended up taking 5 officers to restrain the nicotine addicted buck. The poor creature even had to eventually be Tasered, but not before causing minor injuries to all of his attackers, including one officer who suffered a broken wrist

Linked here (because deer stories are too scary to be embedded, apparently) is a local news story on the incident, complete with the two victims telling their story on camera despite the loss of guy-cred a deer stealing your smokes may entail.

And if you see a deer out in the woods, please remember that just like a humans, they can get a bit violent if they haven't had a smoke break in a while....and attempts at an intervention can and probably will turn ugly.

"You jackbooted thugs aren't making me go back on the patch!"

Please also feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter. 

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