A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Internet Celeb of the Month: Anjeanette Carter

Twitter is a very odd social media phenomenon. Despite having somewhat limiting parameters (by only allowing 140 characters to express yourself), it has become one of the most widely used tools for delivering news, ideas, and pictures of what you ate for lunch.

For celebrities, Twitter has provided a way to connect with fans that offers the potential for meaningful interaction (without the creepiness of people screaming at them from outside their homes). It's also given a forum for up and coming writers and actors to gain a grass roots audience...

...which unfortunately tends to morph the Twitter feeds of these would-be entertainers into one of two things:

1. A constant stream of self promotion/links to their own content (Yes, I am aware of the irony. Shut up.)
2. An unintelligible string of consonants and occasional vowels (often with repeated use of terms like "SWAG" and "YOLO") which may cause their followers to have a brain aneurysm.

Donald Trump's Twitter feed is in a category all its own.

Occasionally, however, someone on Twitter comes along on that can somehow work within the 140 character boundary to somehow create genuinely funny and entertaining material.

A few months ago, I began occasionally seeing retweets pop up in my timeline from a very attractive young woman named Anjeanette Carter. Instead linking to duck-faced/Myspace angled self pictures, however, her tweets were little comedic gems like these:

Once I decided to start following her on the Twitter machine, I could pretty much count on Anjeanette to make me laugh out loud (or chuckle quietly to myself) at least once a day.

As it turned out, quite a few other people were also getting their daily Twitter dose of smart, sarcastic humor from her over the last year, which is why she was named as one of Time Magazine's 140 Best Twitter Feeds of 2012.

Twitter wasn't the only thing she did, either. In addition to being a contributor for The Nerdist, Anjeanette also keeps a criminally under-updated blog where she uploads videos, tells funny stories, and makes observations about the world around here with the same snark and wit that makes her Twitter feed so entertaining....

...like this sad/hilarious tale about how she got cut out of her first commercial:

One of my first auditions was for a Breast Cancer Awareness public service announcement. The part was placing flowers over a grave, while crying over my dead mother. Because all commercials can’t be happy. But I nailed it.
And I got the part!
I was so excited to finally get to be in a real commercial AND showcase my intense acting talents as well. I would be the Meryl Streep of cheesy PSA’s! Cut to the day of the shoot. It felt magical and I was totally on point. My job was to hold a bouquet of flowers, cry, drop the flowers and walk away. The director told me I was doing an awesome job. Then the assistant director spoke up.
1st A.D.: (to director) You know I get where you’re going with this, but it is REALLY depressing.
DIRECTOR: Yeah, well its cancer. Her mom is dead.
1st A.D.: I know, but this is just too much. Seriously.
(They watch the playback)                                              
DIRECTOR: Oh yeah. You’re right. Super depressing…. Let’s change the set-up, guys!
For the next hour I was filmed from the waist down only. They shot my hands poetically dropping the flowers on the grave, which turned out to be the only thing they aired.
And that’s how I got cut out of my very first commercial!

 Hard to believe this face could be 
depressing, but I guess she pulled it off

As I became a bigger and bigger fan of (and developed a bigger and bigger crush on) Anjeanette, I decided to go out on a limb and ask if she would be willing to do an interview for RamblingBeachCat.com's Internet Celeb of the Month feature. 
In keeping with her consistent theme of being awesome, she said yes.

RBC: On Twitter, everyone starts off with zero followers (give or take a few pornbots and spammers). How did your Twitter following start out and begin to grow before its awesomeness was finally recognized in Time Magazine?

Anjeanette: My first few months of Twitter were pretty much like everyone else's. But after I had a steady stream of content I started getting re-tweeted by large accounts and it basically grew from there.

 Having this as your Twitter AVI 
doesn't hurt follower retention, either.

RBC: Are all of your tweets off the cuff observations, or do you plan them out? 

Anjeanette: A mix of both. I will consciously sit down with the intention of writing but I find the best tweets are always the ones that come to me the easiest. 

RBC: I noticed that you don't write long form blogs as much as you used to; has that basically been replaced by what you say on Twitter?

Anjeanette: If I don't have anything to say I won't force it. My blog is such an extension of myself that I try to not be as disciplined. But now I'm thinking maybe I should write more...

RBC: Speaking of your blog...your bad audition stories were awesome.

The Audition Chronicles
  Part 1
  Part 2
  Part 3

Why don't you write those anymore...and do you have any untold ones that you'd like to share with us now?

Anjeanette: Ha! I wasn't sure if anyone was missing them! I will have to write more. 

Here's a quick memory: I had a callback for a Dentyne Ice commercial once where they made me actually kiss 5 different purposely unattractive 'dates' in an attempt to match us up.

And I didn't even get the job! 

 And somewhere, a few random guys are still bragging
about the hot chick they made out with on the set that one time.

RBC: I remember watching (and greatly enjoying) American History X many years ago... 

...and I have no idea why you would need to pretend to have sex with a chair in an audition to play any part in that movie.

Is there something I'm forgetting, or was the casting director just being a complete perv?

"Did you get lucky? Well, did ya, punk?" 

Anjeanette: No, you are not forgetting anything.

Near the end of the film there is a small flash -maybe even a couple of lines- of Edward Furlong's character's girlfriend. The role was much larger in the original drafts, which included a sex scene.

And the casting director wasn't a perv at all. It was a woman and one of the biggest names in the business. That's probably how she got away with it!

RBC: I noticed that when I watch your videos or listen to you on your podcast, your voice and tone is very different (to me, at least) than when you Tweet. 

You seem a lot more warm/bubbly, while your written stuff tends to be a lot more acerbic. Is that on purpose or am I just imagining it? 

Anjeanette: It's definitely not on purpose. I think I'm just a lot braver when I can hide behind a computer! Both tones are authentic parts of my personality.

RBC: Do you enjoy writing or acting more? 

Anjeanette: I enjoy both equally and for some reason everyone hates that answer.

RBC: Since I'm a relatively new fan of yours, I may have missed this stage in your career if it has happened: Have you ever done stand up comedy? 

Anjeanette: Never. I'm too afraid! 

RBC: I remember reading that you hated school and had a rough time socially. Do you ever have terrible people from your past suddenly try to contact you and pretend that you were always friends? 

Anjeanette: Only in the form of a Facebook friend request...and I always try to be the better person and accept it. Then once they see what I'm up to they un-friend me or limited profile me.

I never learn.

RBC: Did your wit ever get you in trouble at school or at home?

Anjeanette: I used to talk so much in elementary school that in second grade I had to pick up trash for 2 weeks. That is pretty much the extent of my rebellion.

RBC: I'm going to totally lose my man card for asking this, but is your husband's nickname "Mr. Big" a reference to the character from 'Sex in the City'?

Ajeanette: Yes, yes it is. 

 'Sex in the City' nickname = A small price to pay

He has always called me 'kid', which reminds me of Mr. Big's character. Plus, it helps me fulfill my fantasy of being Carrie Bradshaw...although I am still waiting on him to build me my dream closet.

RBC: Does he ever get jealous of your male admirers/creepers? 

Anjeanette: I wish.

RBC: What is the creepiest/most bizarre fan interaction that you've ever experienced? 

Anjeanette: I've had a handful of people send me altered pictures of myself. One person turned me into a shark, and another into the Bette Davis character in 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane'....

...or maybe that was just my interpretation of it. 

The rest are mainly bad Photoshop attempts.

 Point of reference: This is 
one that she totally approved of.


RBC: Since you're an incredibly smart person, I have to ask: Why do you enjoy reality television so much? 

Anjeanette: I love people. Period. Even if they are in forced situations, I have a need to watch the human experience at all levels of insanity.

RBC: What is your favorite show, "reality" or otherwise?

(...and if it's Hoarders, you and my wife have opposite reactions. She starts saying we need to throw everything out and vacuums obsessively).

Anjeanette: I love Hoarders! A lot of the shows on Bravo are also guilty pleasures. 

And I still love South Park after all these years...although none of the above can beat Breaking Bad.

RBC: What reality television show would you ever want to be on...and would you act like you or create a some type of crazy persona for yourself? 

Anjeanette: I would never do a reality TV show that had any type of competition element to it. 
--Quick! Cut to 'future me' that got persuaded to be on a reality show and is acting like an idiot.--

RBC: I've never actually wanted to willingly watch a Lifetime Movie, but you sold me on the Drew Peterson one. 

Trailer embedded below, which is not safe for work...or your mind, which will be blown.

If you got a part in a Lifetime feature, would you play it straight or go balls to the wall over the top?

Anjeanette: The Drew Peterson one is epic. I would probably have to play it straight if I wanted to keep the money.

RBC: What upcoming projects (that you're able to talk about) do you have coming up?

Anjeanette: I am really excited to announce that I will be co-starring in a web series that I co-wrote with comic Joel Dovev. It is a zombie comedy with lots of surprises. It will debut in 2013. You heard it here first!

RBC: If your Twitter or your blog aren't enough for someone that wants to mainline their doses of Anjeanette Carter, where else can they go or what else can they watch to see/read/hear more of you?

Anjeanette: They can always check out my stuff on Nerdist...or they probably would have to go to dinner with me.

Those terms are more than acceptable

RBC: Who wins in a cage match: You or Kelly Oxford?

Anjeanette: Anyone who goes against me in a cage match has a pretty good shot of winning.

RBC: Anything you would like to say to your fans before we go back to enjoying you 140 characters at a time?

Anjeanette: If I didn't have an audience I would probably be saying my tweets to an empty room like a crazy person. 

So, thank you.

Make sure to follow Anjeanette Carter on Twitter or read her blog for your daily allotment of snark. Your mind, heart, and soul will thank you.

I am not anywhere near as funny or attractive as Anjeanette, but you can also follow me on Twitter, too.

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