A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: Sometimes love can be a (sharp) pain the butt

Orlando, Florida

Marcus Thomas and Christopher Hunter were in the middle of a very heated argument on the evening of October 5, 2012.  Marcus had decided to try and end his "homosexual lifestyle", which didn't sit too well with Christopher since he was also gay...and they were in a serious relationship together.

At some point during the argument, Marcus got up to leave the house. This is where the stories from both men veer off in completely different directions, but ultimately come to same horrifying conclusion.

According to Marcus Thomas
When he got up to leave, Christopher told him he wasn't going anywhere. At some point during this impasse between the two, Christopher also managed to obtain a knife.

When Marcus attempted to leave the premises, Christopher stabbed him in the left butt cheek.

According to Christopher Hunter
The disagreement was actually about money; Marcus apparently wanted $10 for cocaine (which must have also been the cheapest cocaine ever created), which Christopher refused.

Enraged at his inability to buy what was probably baking powder cut with rat poison, Marcus charged at Christopher and shoved him into a wall. Fearing for his life, Christopher grabbed a knife to defend himself from Marcus...and stabbed him in the left butt cheek.

Police were skeptical of Christophers' story due to the fact he had about 25 lbs and two inches of height on Marcus. (I guess they don't believe in the old saying that psychotically crazy can come in all different shapes and sizes).

Marcus Thomas was taken to a nearby hospital; police have not yet determined if he will face any charges.

Christopher Hunter, however, was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon. He was booked into the Orange County Jail.

Where he took a mughshot that will forever haunt your dreams...

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

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