A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise.

Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime Wednesday: When civil discourse skid marks to a stop

(photo @ tumblr.com)

Alachua County, Florida

On September 8, 2012, 46-year-old Johnny Broestler decided to make a trip over to the camper of 60-year-old Walter Liddell. This would not, however, be a social visit. Johnny was in need of rent money and had decided that his good neighbor Walter was just the type of guy that would give it to him.

Unfortunately, when Johnny arrived at Walter's camper (and let himself in), his request for rent money was denied. As the exchange between the two men became more and more heated, Johnny decided that physical violence was the only way to get the money that he needed. Right about then was the point at which he noticed some pooped filled underwear laying on the floor.

Johnny picked it up (gross) and began smearing it all over Walter's face (GROSS). Showing much less shame than I would have, Walter freely admitted  that he had left his mud pied whitie tighties on the floor of his living space.

"The underwear was full of poop, and he was trying to smear it all over me," Walter told Chris Alcantara of the Independent Alligator (who was hopefully able to interview the subject at a neutral location).

It's pretty bad when "have a seat" is 
one of the interview's most tense moments.

Johnny's surprise attack must have been ineffective, because he left the camper without taking any money. Walter then promptly called the police (smart) and made sure not to remove or disturb any of the evidence (smart...but, in this case, still pretty disgusting).

When Deputy Craig Smith arrived, he noted that Walter was still covered in fecal matter from the altercation.

Johnny Broestler was arrested and booked into the Alachua County Jail, where he remains on $5,000 bond.

Alachua County Jail
...where fans of irony hold out hope
that he gets put on laundry detail.

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

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