A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: Suds of good clean rage

(photo @ mynewoldschool)

Pasco County, Florida

On the evening of September 25, 2012, John Vincent Caruso and his girlfriend,  Stephanie Madwell, were having a very heated argument at their home. As people are wont to do when they become angry, Stephanie began swearing.

John was not please about this due to the fact their raised voices might wake up their young children...and also because he really has a problem with people swearing.

It was at this point that John warned Stephanie that if she didn't stop cursing, he would wash her mouth out with soap.

His anger about Stephanie's profane language is a bit odd, especially considering the fact that John has been arrested multiple times for charges that include:

John should probably worry much less about the mother of his children's foul mouth and more about his own life choices. But he had made a threat and now fully intended to follow through.

After his third unheeded warning to Stephanie that she cease using cuss words, John went into the kitchen, got some liquid dish soap, snuck up behind her, and began squirting it into her mouth.

After slapping the soap bottle away (and probably swearing a lot more), Stephanie called the police. When they arrived and asked John if he had actually tried to pour soap into his girlfriend's mouth, he not only admitted to it, but also claimed that he often times did it to himself out of respect for his parents.

"A much better way to show your respect: 
Clean up your life and stop getting arrested."
-John's parents

The Pasco County police were not impressed with John's dedication to clean language and arrested him on a domestic battery charge. He was later released on $250 bail.

At least he can be proud of
 taking his most respectable looking mugshot yet.

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

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