A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: Flight of the pink flamingos

Mansfield, Massachusetts

For the past four years, 68-year-old retiree Arthur O'Neil has decorated his lawn with a flock of pink plastic flamingos. While many people find the cliché lawn ornaments to be incredibly tacky, O'Neil's were actually very well received by his neighbors. This is probably due to the fact that he dresses them up in festive outfits based on various holidays, events, and seasons. (In case you are having trouble believing that, keep reading).

One day, O'Neil stepped outside and was shocked to find that nearly all of his pink plastic friends had been stolen. Disheartened and dismayed, O'Neil was ready to give up on his hobby (even though he often received letters of thanks from the community), but someone actually donated money so that he could replace the stolen lawn ornaments.

Totally worth the sacrifice

Unfortunately, a group of thieves continued to steal the flamingos over the next few months. O'Neil set up surveillance equipment was even able to snap a few photos of the burglars in action, but no positive identification could be made.

Then one day, a flamingo was actually returned to O'Neil...with a ransom note scribbled on the side. It read:

"We have the flamingos....
If you ever want to see Arturo and his friends again, call [this number]."

"Arturo" is apparently the name that O'Neil had bestowed on one of his lawn ornaments.

Now on this point, let's stop the tape for the second. Whenever I write one of these Weird Crime articles, I try to cite a large and varied selection of sources. This is not just to help prove the incident's authenticity, but also because these types of stories often have multiple viewpoints or aspects that are not picked up in just one brief news report.

Yet in every news source that I read, the fact that Arthur O'Neil actually NAMES his plastic flamingos...and the fact that the thieves KNOW THE NAME of one of his plastic flamingos...doesn't seem to be much more than an afterthought. I can't be the only one who thinks that's weird, right? But I digress...

Embedded below is a local news story on the matter. It features an interview with O'Neil, who seems like a very pleasant and understanding man...until he requests that the people stealing his lawn ornaments "come to daddy."


Instead of giving in to whatever the kidnappers' demands may have been, O'Neil turned the evidence over to the police. He also is fully aware that the Boston PD may have more important things to deal with than making sure that Arturo and company make it safely back to his lawn.

Still, Arthur O'Neil holds out hope that the plastic flamingos will be returned. At this time, no suspects have been named. 

There has also been no reward offered for information leading to the thieves' arrest or the recovery of O'Neil's property.

If one is offered, there is a good chance it may involve plastic shrimp.

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

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