A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: Don't bring a knife to a beer fight

(photo @ beeradvocate.com)

Port Orange, Florida

On September 18, 2012, Steven Paul Larson entered a Citgo convenience store with his shirt covering his face. It wasn't because someone had just farted, though; Steven intended to rob the place.

He walked up to the register, shoved a knife toward the attendant, and began demanding the store's on hand cash while also attempting to open the registers. Store clerk Dilip Patel, however, was having none of that.

Patel ran out from behind the counter, grabbed a 4-pack of Natural Ice, and put the disgusting beverage to the best use ever recorded in human history: He began chucking the cans at Steven Larson.

As you can see in the video embedded below, Larson is just as horrified by Natty Ice as anyone else is; he runs out of the store like a giant pansy. Also included below is a local news report featuring an interview with Patel (and the much needed confirmation that he does not, in fact, play beer pong).


Steven Paul Larson was later identified and arrested at his home on charges of assault and battery.

He was also charged with looking like 
a villain from one of those SyFy Channel original movies.

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

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