A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime: Even robbers should make sure that they are dressed for success.

(photo @ petango.com)

Jefferson County, Alabama

On July 27, 2012, Zackery Dexter Pace clocked out of his job at Jack's restaurant. Since it was Friday, it had probably been a very busy and tiring shift. But while Zackery may have been off the company's clock, his own work for the night was just beginning.

Zack went outside and changed into his new uniform, which consisted of a black mask with eye holes cut out of it and a hand gun. Minutes after he had left his place of employment, Zack burst back in, held up his gun, and told his fellow co-workers to hand over all their money.

Instead of cowering in obedient fear, however, the rest of the staff simply laughed at the masked gunman that stood before them. The reasons for their bravado while staring down the barrel of a gun were:

1. They could tell it was Zack by his poor attempt at disguising his voice.
2. They REALLY could tell it was Zack because he was still wearing the same clothes he wore to work.

After a few seconds of what had to be the most awkward silence ever, the employees realized that just because Zack was stupid/crazy didn't mean he wouldn't shoot them. They handed over their money and Zack left.

On Monday, the police came into the restaurant to interview the employees about what happened. While the investigation took place, a surprise visitor stopped by to say hello to his co-workers that he had recently held up at gunpoint.

That's right, Zack actually came back to the restaurant....not to collect a paycheck (which would have been stupid), not to clock into work (which would have been REALLY stupid), but just to visit with the other employees.

Zackery Dexter Pace was immediately identified and taken into custody by the police. He has been charged with first degree robbery.

Jefferson County Sherriff's Office
His impending jail sentence should provide plenty of time 
to work on his Christian Bale-to-Batman voice changing.

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how terrible I am more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

Disqus Comments