A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime Wednesday: Behold, the power of mangoes (and fearless old people)

(photo @ criticalmiami.com)

New Bedford, Massachusetts

On Friday, July 21 of 2012, 80-year-old Otilia Martins decided to take an afternoon trip to the local grocery store owned and operated by her daughter and son-in-law. But as she went about her business shopping and supporting the family owned business, a blood curdling scream from the front of the store alerted her that something was very wrong.

Otilia hurried to the register near the store entrance, where she saw the clerk behind the counter (who was a long time friend of hers) being held at gunpoint by two men who were robbing the store. At this point, no one would blame an 80-year-old woman for being scared (which she was), but surely no one would also expect an 80-year-old woman to be a vigilante badass. 

"I was scared he was going to kill her," she told Curt Brown of SouthCoastToday.com "I would rather he kill me than her." True to her word, Otilia began screaming at the gunman to kill her instead.

When you're friends or family with grandma, it's thug life together until you die

That wasn't just gangster bravado, by the way; while screaming at the robbers, Otilia also began digging through her purse for something to throw at them. When she didn't find anything, she took the next logical step available...running right up to the gunman and pelting him with mangoes from the front counter.

The fruited robber, who was no doubt wondering what the heck just happened, decided that it was time to stage a hasty retreat. Otilia, however, had other plans; she grabbed him by the shirt and hung on for dear life, even as he pistol whipped her across the back of the head.

The gun man eventually got free and both robbers fled the store...with Otilia in hot pursuit down the sidewalk. She quickly realized, however, that she'd never be able to catch them (and that her head was bleeding), so she went back inside while the police were called.

When they got there, Otilia was able to describe the robbers, tell which way they fled, and further prove how tough/awesome she was by refusing medical treatment for head wound, claiming that she could treat it herself.

In case this all sounds too awesome to be true, embedded below is the glorious survallience video from the store that fateful day.  

The two robbers, Eduardo Torez Lopez Jr. (age 22) and Jesse Dossantos (age 32), were later apprehended, charged with armed robbery and assault/battery, and will face a lifetime of being made fun of for getting punked by a woman more than twice their age (or in Eduardo's case, nearly quadruple her age) and with ten times the courage.

Otilia Martins, along with the rest of her friends and family, are doing just fine. Otilia only had one regret about her actions that day: That she didn't take the entire fruit basket and crack it over the gunman's head.

I'm guessing these two are regretting a few decisions from that day, too.

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how much I suck more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

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