A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Freaky (Factual) Tale Friday: Alexis Goggins loves her mom, laughs atthe Grim Reaper

(photo @ jezabel.com)

Detroit, Michigan

In December of 2007, Selietha Parker and her 7-year-old daughter, Alexis, decided to stay with a friend that evening due to their heat not working (which in Detroit, means your home has basically turned into an ice box). When her friend, Aiesha Ford came to pick them up, Selietha's ex-boyfriend, Calvin Tillie, ambushed the group. He took the trio hostage at gunpoint, forced them into a car, and told Salietha's friend to drive.

He also further proved that Selietha made the right move by dumping him.

After what must have been a very terrifying and awkward car ride, Ford was able to convince Tillie that she needed to stop for gas before they got to his desired murdering location. He gave her $10, told her to put only $5 worth of gas in (adding "being total cheapskate" to his long list of transgressions that evening) and made her go out and pump the gas.

What Tillie failed to notice was that Ford had managed to get out of the car with her cell phone. As she walked towards the station to pay for the gas, Ford called 911 and explained that she, her friend, and a 7-year-old girl were being held hostage at gunpoint. The police promptly sent over a unit to save the day...just kidding, they said that they couldn't help because they didn't have a unit to send.

To be fair to the Detroit PD, 
Robo Cop still hasn't been invented yet.

When Ford went back into the gas station to stall for more time, Tillie began to get nervous. He turned his 9mm pistol on Salietha and shot her in the side of the head and her arm.  Before he could fire a third shot, however, Alexis Goggins screamed at him not to shoot her mother and hurled herself across Salietha's body. 

Without hesitation, Tillie fired six bullets into Alexis. They hit her in the right eye, left temple, cheek, chin, left arm, and chest. Tillie then showed all of the manliness you would expect from someone that had just gunned down a little girl by trying to run away like a pansy. Salietha, no doubt enraged at the perceived murder of her child, grabbed Tillie and knocked the gun out of his hand.

Unfortunately for him, the gunshots (and a call from the gas station attendant) had also magically made a police unit able to appear in less than a minute. Tillie was arrested and is currently serving a 60 year prison sentence for kidnapping, child abuse, and attempted murder.

It was only "attempted" murder because somehow, Alexis Goggins was able to not only survive, but also make a full recovery. Despite losing her right eye and having to endure multiple surgeries, Alexis is currently in the 6th grade, doing well in school, and loves her mom more than ever. Embedded below is a video of Alexis from 2011...it may cause someone near your current location to randomly begin cutting onions.

This was also a kid that had already had a tough road in life; Alexis suffered a massive stroke as an infant. Doctor's claimed she would most likely have difficulty with simple tasks like writing. The Detroit Police (you know, the guys who couldn't make it over to the hostage situation until shots were fired) also claimed that "it may never be known whether Alexis meant to shield her mother from the bullets" due to her developmental disabilities.

Fortunately, Alexis has many family, friends and people who have actually been around her and are not busy making asinine statements (like Marvin Bodley, a Detroit Public Schools employee who stayed by her bedside for two days while she recovered). They recognize that what she did was not only incredibly heroic, but motivated by pure love and dedication to her mother.

Ask most people that meet her, and they will tell you that for all intents and purposes, Alexis seems like a normal kid. I strongly beg to differ. Alexis, you have more love and courage in your arm (the one you took a bullet in) than most of us will ever hope to have or hold. You're a real life superhero; someone that we can all look up to for true inspiration and pure awesomeness.

Alexis Goggins: More awesome than Robo Cop.
(Especially from the third movie)

Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you'd like to sing my praises or tell me how much I suck more personally, I can also be found on Twitter.

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