A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime Wednesday: Resisting arrest with your intestines

(photo @ kidsbiology.com)

Hackensack, New Jersey

On Sunday May 27 of 2012, Bergen County Police received a call alerting them to the potentially harmful actions of 43-year-old Wayne Carter.  He had barricaded himself in a room inside of his house with a 12 inch knife and was threatening to hurt himself.

When the officers arrived on the scene, Carter refused them entry to the room.  fter kicking down the door (which had been barricaded with furniture), they observed Carter sitting in the corner and repeatedly stabbing himself with the knife.  When the officers demanded that he stop stabbing himself and put down the weapon, Carter stood up, faced the police, and began screaming at them while continuing to cut himself. 

Here is where things go pretty far outside the police training manual for dealing with a suicidal suspect: 

As Carter stood up, the officers noticed that the man's small intestines were protruding through some of the self inflicted wounds on his abdomen.  When they attempted to approach him, however, Carter did something that would repel an arresting force with even the strongest of stomachs: He threw pieces of his own flesh and small intestines at them.

The officers (who by this point were probably questioning why they went to work that day) then attempted to subdue Carter by unloading two cans of pepper spray on him. Since Carter had been able to remain responsive, aggressive, and morbidly resourceful through a self inflicted disembowelment, he predictably shrugged off the pepper spray and began swinging his knife wildly at the police. 

In what had to be one of the most awkward calls for back up ever, the officers retreated and called in the Bergen County SWAT team.

    "No seriously guys, get here quick! This is really gross..."

The SWAT team was able to subdue Carter, who was then taken to Hackensack University Medical Center for emergency surgery.  As of Tuesday, he was still listed as being in critical condition.

Lt. John Heineman of the Bergen County Police has developed a brilliant hypothesis that drugs and/or mental illness may have led to Mr. Carter's actions. 

No charges have been filed yet due to the unusual nature of the case, but considering the recent Miami zombie attack that's been all over the news, a criminal trial may end up being a moot point.  This might be a good time to begin stocking up on weapons/supplies and checking our friends and loved ones for bite marks.

At least Wayne Carter didn't take a page out of  the 
"Zombie Wonder Woman" book and fashion an intestine lasso.


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