A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Weird Crime Wednesday: Smuggling heroin--an even worse career choice when combined with painful bowel movements

(photo @ sodahead.com)

On March 14, 2012, 52-year-old Bola Adebisi arrived at Dulles International Airport (a few miles outside of Washington D.C.) on a flight from Ethiopian Airlines that originated in Nigeria.  As has become the custom in the United States, Bola received a very intimate and personal welcome to America in the form of a TSA pat down.

As the agents patted Bola down, they noticed that her stomach was abnormally rigid.  While most people would just blame a large meal at PF Changs, Bola had no answer for why her stomach felt like an 8 pound medicine ball.

The agents took the woman aside and proceeded to ask her some routine questions, such as "Why are you visiting the United States."  Bola's answer was that she was visiting her brother.  When they asked her about him, however, she was unable to give his address, phone number, or physical description.

"But you may have seen a movie they made about him..."

 Bola was then taken to the hospital, where an X-ray revealed some very unusual objects inside her stomach.  Over the next few hours, Bola "passed" (pooped) a number of small heroin filled pellets that weighed around 100 grams.  

But Bola was not content just being an ordinary drug mule; she was going for employee of the month.

After three days in the hospital, Bola had "expelled" (crapped out) a grand total of 180 heroin pellets that weighed in at nearly 5 lbs.

Bola's attempt at making herself a human suitcase for massive amounts of drugs was incredibly hazardous to her health...and a Dulles International Airport record for an ingested drug smuggling bust (yes, sadly there was a record of that to break).

The street value of the drugs in Bola's system was estimated between $150,000 and $180,000, also giving Bola one of the most expensive cases of constipation (followed by Montezuma's Revenge) ever recorded. 

While everyone enjoys a healthy Number 2 (even the ladies...don't lie), keep in mind that the picture below is the actual customs photograph of what passed through Bola Adebisi's system.  The only people who had anywhere near as rough a time as Bola were the evidence handlers and the photographer.

Or the person that left their paperwork right next to stuff.

Anyone with half a brain knows how bad heroin is for your body.  But when dealing it compels a person to do something like this, it becomes pretty clear that anyone who thinks heroin isn't bad for you is full of crap...

...and probably a few pellets.


She's just lucky one of those didn't burst in her gut. That stuff's fatal in single doses.

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