Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Weird Crime Wednesday: Step 1 for getting a job--don't show up to the interview naked

(photo @ sodahead.com)


On February 25, 2012, Chris Johnson was spending his Saturday morning working in his Sacramento, California welding shop.  At about the same time, a man named Jose Ayala had come to the conclusion that he would like to be employed at a welding shop.

What is unclear just how much methamphetamine Jose had ingested before he came to this decision.  Whatever the amount may have been, it was enough to convince him that he would make a first impression that no employer could ever forget.  He would march right down to his local welding shop, explain that he had the skills necessary for the type of employment that they offered, and ask for a job.  He would also do this while being completely naked.

While this is yet another example of how 
meth is terribly destructive, one still had to commend Jose for having the fortitude to go out there and try to get himself a job on a Saturday morning while he was tripping out of his mind and not wearing any pants.

                                                          knowyourmeme.com
Meth should be avoided at all costs, 
but  Chewbacca playing baseball doesn't require drugs to be awesome.



When Jose showed up to the shop, he greeted Chris Johnson by saying that he was looking for work and that he was "good with his hands."  Jose had obviously not considered the fact that most people would be absolutely terrified by a naked man walking up to them and using that phrase.

Chris called the police and his brother (presumably because a naked man wandering into your place of business requires family support).  While they waited for the police to arrive, Jose wandered around outside of the welding shop entrance, incoherently babbling and probably questioning many of his life decisions.

Once the law enforcement arrived, Jose was not pleased about having his impromptu job interview so rudely interrupted.  He wrestled fiercely with the police officers, eventually grabbing the female officer's hair in an unbreakable meth-enhanced grip.



                                         trichotillomania
I will use this trophy to feed the spiders that live under my skin!



That's when some bystanders (who were already getting quite a show) and the shop owner's brother decided to get involved.


"HE'S GOT HER HAIR!"  one of them yelled as they rushed over to free the officer's scalp.  They dove (very carefully) onto Jose and held him down (being very mindful of where their hands were) while the police handcuffed him.  One of these heroes even managed to hold on to his half eaten cheeseburger while the group awkwardly wrestled Jose to the ground.

Thank goodness that someone had the good sense to have their phone out to record this awesome confrontation.  A few warnings about the following video:

1.  Jose's junk is blurred out, but it's still pretty obvious that he's naked.

2.  When one of the men wrestling Jose to the ground requests that the camera man take the burger out of his hand, it is one of the greatest moments in civilian heroics that you may ever witness.





Jose Ayala is currently in jail facing charges for resisting arrest, trying to escape arrest, assaulting a police officer, and indecent exposure.  

In case you were wondering, he didn't get the job, either.


Actual mugshot photo @ wtsp.com
Jose also had to wear this ridiculous cap, but 
he is probably impervious to embarrassment by this point.