A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Freaky (Factual) Tale Friday: If you hear voices in your head, they might actually be real

(photo @ realfoodfreaks)

On January 30, 2003, Donald Friedman walked into an F.B.I field office in California and handed the clerk behind the front desk a letter.  It read in part (emphasis mine):

"This is to inform you of my intention to torture one or more of your San Francisco agents if I do not immediately (today) get everything that I am entitled to related to the records that the U.S. Secret Service has related to me. 

Agents of the U.S. Secret Service, as you already know, have been committing very serious crimes against me and other members of my family for a very long time, and I'm taking more direct action to prevent it from continuing. 

I am going to get an admissible confession from at least one of your agents one way or the other, and if I don't get what I am demanding from you today, I will use the method of torture described in the attached pages to obtain that confession and to punish the agent for his or her involvement in the illegal acts that your agents have perpetrated against me and my family. 

I have been more than reasonable, and more than patient, but I am going to get the admissible information one way or the other, and if it takes violence directed at your agents by me, so be it. I won't kill any of them, but during the torture they will wish they were dead.

Have a nice day,
[signed] Donald M. Friedman"

The clerk behind the desk asked Friedman repeatedly if he was serious about the contents of the letter and if he was aware that it would constitute a federal crime to make such a threat.

 I'm going to ask you one time; do you really
want to make me have to deal with this today?

Friedman answered each time that he was sure and that he knew he would be going to jail that day.  Sure enough, he was arrested and charged with one count of threatening federal officers.

During the court proceedings for Friedman, the crazy got kicked up a few notches.  He apparently believed that the United States Secret Service had arranged to have him molested at age 13, fired an electromagnetic radiation-based weapon at his father that caused him to develop prostate cancer (that eventually killed him), and fired a similar weapon at him that caused his shoes to melt.

They come to take away your innocence, 
your family, and your footwear...in that order

Despite the urging of his counsel to plead insanity (which probably involved a lot of fake coughing while saying the word "CRAZY"), Friedman refused to say he was playing with anything less than a full deck.

This stubborn idea he had about maintaining his sanity took a couple of hard hits when:

1.  He presented the shoes that government agents had supposedly melted...which simply looked like worn out running shoes.

2. The government's psychologist and one of Friedman's choosing both concurred that he was totally schizophrenic.

Stop saying that about me!  We are not schizophrenic!

Still, Friedman pressed on, demanding better counsel for himself and filing a second Freedom of Information Act (he was not satisfied with the first) for:

"all documents pertaining to the microwave auditory effect,  microwave hearing effect,  Frey effect, artificial telepathy, and/or any device/weapon which uses and/or   causes  such effect; and any covert or undisclosed use of hypnosis"

This FOIA request, however, was much more successful.  The document (which was verified by wired.com in 2008 through the US Army Intelligence And Security Command Freedom Of Information/Privacy Office), contained quite a bit of interesting/terrifying information.  

 Contained within was official government documentation of research and development on a telepathic ray gun, fever lasers (that slowly heated a person's body to the point of disorientation), and all types of other crazy, mad scientist stuff.  The worst of it, however, was most likely contained in this passage (emphasis mine):

 Because the frequency of the sound heard is dependent on the pulse characteristics of the RF energy, it seems possible that this technology could be developed to the point where words could be transmitted to be heard like the spoken word, except that it could only be heard within a person’s head. 
In one experiment, communication of the words from one to ten using "speech modulated" microwave energy was successfully demonstrated. Microphones next to the person experiencing the voice could not pick up the sound. Additional development of this would open up a wide range of possibilities.

….This technology requires no extrapolation to estimate its usefulness. Microwave energy can be applied at a distance, and the appropriate technology can be adapted from existing radar units. Aiming devices likewise are available but for special circumstances which require extreme specificity, there may be a need for additional development. Extreme directional specificity would be required to transmit a message to a single hostage surrounded by his captors. Signals can be transmitted long distances (hundreds of meters) using current technology. Longer distances and more sophisticated signal types will require more bulky equipment, but it seems possible to transmit some of the signals at closer ranges using man-portable equipment.

In other words, the United States Army had successfully developed the technology to transmit voices into a person's head.

Oh yeah, I should also probably mention that the technology being discussed was documented in 1998.  While there is no further evidence of it being tested or developed in the last 14 years, I would be willing to bet that much like the cell phones I had in 1998 and in 2012, things have moved forward quite a bit.

While it's still almost certain that Donald Friedman was crazy/schizophrenic, it is certain, that the United States government successfully developed the technology to make people hear voices in their heads during the last century...and that's from officially documented information that wasn't still classified, redacted, or destroyed.

Field Test No. 177:  Make mass amounts of the populace 
think the show 'Two And A Half Men' is actually funny.

But don't worry too much about it.  It's not like the government has a history of mind control testing or anything...now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go curl up in the fetal position and suck on my thumb for a few hours.


Anonymous said…
It could be interesting to use this on terrorists, and make them believe it's their god speaking to them....
Anonymous said…
Interestingly, a tinfoil hat might actually protect you from that...

Anonymous said…
Stop touching yourself, Neal.
Anonymous said…
love the Real Genius reference!
Anonymous said…
Who is Neal? The guy in Real Genius was Ken. If you gonna quote, quote right for crying out loud.
Anonymous said…
Abbot to costello. you got pwnt
Anonymous said…
The guy in Real Genius was Kent.
Neal said…
who the hell said that?
Dawson Phyllis said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said…
I though his name was Donald.

"Robert Friedman answered each time that he was sure and that he knew he would be going to jail that day. Sure enough, he was arrested and charged with one count of threatening federal officers."
Nick Nafpliotis said…
Thanks for the catch :)
Anonymous said…
Perhaps some day you may get your wish when your government considers you the enemy if it hasn't already.
Anonymous said…
Why would the CIA terrorist think God is talking to them when they know their bosses are "GOD".

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