A Letter to My Dog, Half Pint

This last year may have been the worst one of my life, but at least I've got the world's two greatest dogs by my side to help me stagger into 2018. Today's post features a letter to Half Pint. Benjamin will be getting a letter later this week--he'd never let me hear the end of it, otherwise. Also, this posts features a lot of short video clips of Half Pint being silly. Since I apparently can't do anything right these days, they are exclusively shot in vertical mode. Please accept my apologies (and cut me some friggin' slack).

Musings on a Friday Evening


So after a rough week, tonight was enjoyable. My friend Nick (no, not imaginary, we have the same name) and I decided that there were some definite gems to pull out of this evening's antics, so here you go:

1.) Holding your girlfriend's purse upside down makes you look more manly. Despite ridicule from Nick, Devin, Lori Carroll (Erynn Carroll's mom), and many others, I still hold this to be true. 

If your girlfriend asks you to hold onto her purse, make sure it is zipped up and hold it upside down like a football with your feet shoulderwidth apart. It says "I am a man who is holding a purse, but I am so manly that I don't even know the proper way to do so." 

Well, at least my band booster president agreed with me. One of the Wando parents who heard my argument said I felt this way because I was insecure in my manhood. I reminded her that I spent the entire second quarter of the football game dancing with pom poms. Touche!

2.) Tupac is still alive. After a round table discussion between Nick, Devin, and myself, we've pretty much decided that it's true. He keeps releasing new music and putting out videos, his mom is supposedly sending large amounts of money to a private account in Puerto Rico (unconfirmed conjecture, but whatever), his songs are just a little too timely, etc. 

And seriously, a celebrity gets killed after a Tyson fight in Vegas and no one sees it?

3.) For the second time in as many weeks, Samantha Moyer's mom has told me about her daughter switching to mellophone in the USC marching band this year. This is akin to someone telling me that a middle eastern country that hates us now posesses a doomsday device.

4.) Godiva chocolate is the stealth stomach bomber. I have been tricked by this before, but I never seem to learn my lesson. After the game I went to Barnes and Noble for desert with Karen and ordered a piece of Godiva double chocolate cheesecake. What they brought me looked like a small sliver of turd with a pretty swirl on top. 

Boy was I wrong.

I could barely finish the thing. With every bite it felt as though the chocolate was coating my entire insides, slowing down all necessary motor functions throughout my body. That was almost an hour ago and the effects are getting worse.

Well, that's all for now. I bet I will remember something later, but I'm in early for the night. It's been a long week, but it's good to be done with August and to have a long weekend to recover and reload. Bring on the fall!!


Disqus Comments